It was the end of April. A time for renewal, but I wasn’t in a renovating mood. Life was a black and White Film, kind of like Dorothy’s world in Kansas. I was 44 , depressed , overweight and contemplating the second half of a life aspiring to be average in a boring career. I am married with three daughters. This was the only positive thing in my life, in fact the only conscious choice I had ever made. We were at the bookstore. The girls were off browsing and I did what I do best, flop in big chair half sleeping with the blank slate of a mind that comes from mind-numbing mediocrity. It was time to leave and as I got up to pay for the choices, I saw it. It slapped me in the face. “ I Could Do Anything, If Only I Knew What it Was”. I bought it.
Most people see me as a success. I have everything society says we are supposed to have for happiness. I am a graduate engineer with my own internet business, which is reasonably successful without consuming 80 hours a week. I had a beautiful wife, daughters and home, yet I was unhappy. I also became very ill in May, which also tends to make one think.
I read that book and went to Barbara Sher’s seminar, which happened to be in Toronto the following weekend. At the seminar three complete strangers told me things about myself, based upon lies I told them. I was intrigued. Something Barbara said also rang very true,” Isolation is the dream killer”. I got the courage up and joined a success group. I really didn’t have any better alternative at that point so I said what the hell!Typically, it was all women myself excluded. Guys don’t go for touchy feely stuff all that well. I participated however. I did the exercises with the group and you know what, it was fun. Being the only guy turned out to be a blessing for myself and the group. I started listening to myself with the help of the group. I established a need for artistic expression, which for me means performing. I have an unusual talent for accents and character voices. With the help of the group and contacts developed through them and the idea party we had, I have embarked on my second career as an actor and voice performer. I have already been cast in two small films, am up for the lead in another and am performing in a series of Internet radio plays. In fact this past week, I was cast in my first television commercial. I have followed up with a number of people I know from the past and was pleasantly surprised that I know a number of people in the “biz” who are also willing to help me.
It has been six months since that day when I saw that book. Today life is in living colour. My business has actually increased since I embarked on my second career as an actor. My family and friends see the difference in me. Passion is once again in my vocabulary. I lost the excess weight, and generally having a great time. I have my down moments but am much better able to handle them.Now if I were to be a proper self-help zealot, I would say,” I owe it all to Barbara and Please sign up for the tapes and lectures in the lobby after this meeting.”The truth is that I do not owe it all to Barbara. I want to thank Barbara for her catalytic role in my personal renewal, but she would be the first to admit that life change is very personal and comes from listening to your inner voice . Follow your passion .