illustration by TANN
Hi, I’m Andrea Reese, Barbara Sher’s Assistant and the New York City Success Team Facilitator. I just started my 13th team, which apparently isn’t an unlucky number because it’s a fabulous dynamic group of people. My current team is made up of highly creative people in various artistic fields, who feel pressured to create perfect works of art and end up being blocked. I took Barbara’s advice and suggested that as homework they create really terrible works of art, music, and theater, to take away the pressure. They loved the assignment.
We also had a fabulous "gripe session" last week, which I’ve found is the perfect thing to do in the third meeting, since that is when everyone creates flow charts. The flowcharts make their dreams feel much more real, and they get scared and feel resistant. Letting the steam off in a gripe session really helps.
The most frequent advice I give to members of my teams is to break their goals down into the smallest possible steps, to lower resistance. I think it takes awhile for most people to fully accept that it’s impossible to do anything in isolation. I remind my team members of this over and over, and once they start to lean more on each other, and ask for advice outside the meetings, it’s exciting to see them surge ahead. Something I’ve noticed many times is that once someone figures out what their goal is, and starts to take steps towards it, astonishing things happen. One team member who wanted to work as a grant writer happened to sit beside a woman on a bus who she hadn’t seen in years, and who worked for a foundation and offered to help her.
As an example of the team process during the 8 weeks, I’ll tell you about a member of one of my first teams. Lisa had been a professional hair and makeup artist for quite awhile and, unlike many people who join Success Teams, she enjoyed her work. However, she felt a strong need for additional outlets for her tremendous creativity and was intriqued by the idea of starting her own business selling something she would create herself.
Within the team she considered many options; holiday related decorations for events, floral arrangements, hair jewelry, and potpourri. Every week she brought in spectacular items to show the team, and although she was enjoying making them, she hadn’t yet hit upon the perfect synthesis of her interests. It happened that during this same period of time, she was planning her own wedding, which was a highly creative endeavor since she was designing every thing herself. In the 6th success team meeting, the team suggested that perhaps she could design her business around weddings, since she already enjoyed doing hair and makeup and making jewelry. Her eyes lit up at this idea, and she immediately began choosing colors for her own bridal makeup line, and make bridal tiaras and jewelry. She got so inspired that she’s now writing a book. Her business is called "Isle" and is well on its way.
You’d think that after running so many teams, and working for Barbara for 6 years, I would be so familiar with resistance that I’d be able to handle it easily in myself. Not true! I recently completed a huge project, writing a play, and was shocked by how much resistance came up during the 7 months of writing. I experienced every symptom of resistance that Barbara lists in her book; exhaustion, the desire to read junky magazines and watch tv movies all day (one Saturday I watched 5 bad movies in a row), a total loss of interest in my goal (I suddenly decided I should become an air conditioner repair woman instead), and terrible bouts of self-doubt. I had to remind myself that "isolation is the dream killer", and so I joined a writer’s group, which gave me the support and deadlines I needed to move through the resistance.
Resistance is uncomfortable, but it’s much more uncomfortable not to go after your dreams. It’s such a thrill to watch people in my teams lighting up more and more each week, as they work towards their goals. I send my hugest wishes to everyone reading this that you will get the support you need to move towards your dreams. Remember what Barbara Sher says; there will never be another person like you. You are unique and gifted and the world needs your gifts.